amateur discourse #2

I often wonder what disillusionment is. It is not that I never experience it. It is just I don’t accept it anymore. 

There are things in my life I wonder why they have occurred. Yet I get no answer. And I do know I will never find out why that particular thing happened and I stop questioning why, and wonder what for. This is constructive and does not allow my hopes and dreams crush like glass. This change of perspective is hard to obtain and even harder to maintain, but once possessed it makes life deep and meaningful and gears up individual’s aspirations to an unprecedented extent.

It is not self-deceit, it is self-motivation. When things move off track there is very rarely a chance to comprehend them, but what we can do and what can be constructive is to find no accident in them, yet in all their quirkiness and nonsense interpret them as most precious symbols pushing us forward.

I don’t want disillusionment anymore. I want to be wise. I want to feel my life is following its own path I cannot predict in anyway.