i want life to be an adventure

I discovered that one of my biggest fears is the possibility of a life to stop being an adventure. Since I left home, I felt the power in my hands to make it a ceaseless challenge, a set of events unpredictable, formative and beautiful. Destiny is also part of the route, I believe, yet I know, whenever each chapter slowly came to an end, my heart was trembling in doubt.

I started to wonder what made it an adventure so far. I thought, if I navigate those factors and write them down, I will be able to always follow those guidelines and tackle my fear. I didn’t realise the inevitability of ends and new beginnings. In my mind, the end was definite and a new beginning just a step closer to a steady, conventional life I never wanted. Still, no matter how much I try to rationalise the matter, I feel as if someone was about to knock on my door and snatch my freedom.

It all comes down to a question, what an adventure really is? There are definitions galore, but for me, it’s just an opportunity to explore. Foreign places and cultures, new ideas, the people or oneself. How I can change given the tougher circumstances, far from the comfort of my hometown and things so well known I will always take for granted. There is something alluring about uncertainty. It is the knowledge that the situation will always push you further, beyond the boundaries you defined for yourself, beyond the boundaries that were defined for you in the place you come from. There is no space for calculating risks, gains or losses, because you know the adventure per se is worth it. It will give you a sense of living to the fullest. It will allow you to evolve with landscapes and life philosophies, with words you hear being honestly said, with conclusions you’ll draw and with mistakes you’ll discover.

Sometimes, I feel we’re here for no particular reason. This concept frightened me at first, but now I approach it differently. Small particles of the world as we are, it guarantees peace of mind. There is no list of responsibilities to complete, no mission to accomplish. Life as an adventure is a path that shall not be marked by any finishing line. I want it to unfold with my maturity and smaller or bigger wisdom. I do not want to hear voices judgmental, accusing me of irresponsibility, suggesting carelessness.  I want my life to show me things I could never imagine. I want to look at it with awe and admiration. I want the adventure to last forever.