I never felt so absent in my presence. The feeling that reveals a world of opportunities - you can act, but you don’t have to - a great temptation. You are here, you observe, you know your opinion. You just restrain from making a gesture.
These days when your mind can blow up, like an atomic bomb, swelling from thoughts and sensations. Missing the outlet to reach the outside world, they are condensed inside you, as you accumulate the internal and the external, your patience reaches the limits, but the idea of absence eases the struggle.
The reasons for this condition can be many, but they step down into the background, as you cherish the skill of steering your own indifference and let it be superior to all the instincts, impulses. This is the type of control that wont’t last long, but once it comes, you accommodate it and try to make it stay. Being beyond certain emotions is not a victory, rather, an expriment, that once finished, allows you to appreciate the full spectre of feelings life can bring. And it will.
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