the fear of starting

Sometimes it feels we have a lot to loose. Sometimes we think we will become subjects of pity and comment. Sometimes we simply expect to disappoint ourselves. All those reasons hold us back from getting things started.

In fact, these are mere excuses, as people try to convince themselves there is no point in even trying. It is a rule I observed applicable to different aspects of life: job applications, travelling, entering or escaping relationships, making radical life choices. As far as one can understand human concerns and the unsettling uncertainty that accompanies every new venture, I’d rather think of it as a thrill, an excitement. The moment the first step is made and thoughts are put into action, the fear suddenly disappears, giving place to anticipation and satisfaction. If life is in its large part consisting of trivial activities, trying to elevate it with a dose of courage can transform our entire experience.

I remember my father asking me: ‘Life is putting a lot of constraints on us already, why would you add another one which is your mind?’ Those words still resonate within, as I realised sometimes we are our own worst enemy. I think an act is the most powerful reply to any doubt. The only way to change the status quo rather than escaping it. To flee means to come back, sooner or later. If for one brief moment we become oblivious of voices and glimpses reaching our heart, we will be finally able to listen and look on our own, independently and boldly.