floating

I embrace myself and get to know the life. There is no other order to follow to see things  to get a vague perception of reality. To be with the others through oneself.

To find an affirmation of own way of being and all the decisions in something simple. When you know the life you want to live, but you need to see the entire landscape of dreams and ideas that are being done.  And to always keep own head so full, of visions and thoughts loose that sometime they will become one.

I need to hear to the world to speak to it, to let the perspectives transcend and then I will get things done. And to keep writing, writing for the sake of it to let it come out and feel different just for a short while, when you’re thinking the idea you formulated is floating.

the stars in the universe are lighting up my life

Here you are sometimes, where the ways are intersecting and you want to see them in their entirety and capability, but there is no way of knowing where the things will go.

It is like a universe where stars are points of reference but they are getting blurred, they go out or light up all of a sudden, because it is an endless flux and change. This overused metaphor of life is, so compelling, almost unimaginable so I need to repeat it all over again as words come to my head.

Sometimes, all we want is the moon, to reach to it, to always see it and let it guide us as one and only certainty in the whole suspense of constant alteration of the sky that is either becoming so drastically different to what we know or stays mercilessly same for ages of our days.

I want some things to be certain, but startling and my life to shimmer like stars protected by the love of some incomprehensible instance that would come to my view in its own time.

clearing

If there is way of knowing

there is understanding

what can be said

is there below

under our feet.

So if there is way of knowing

there is way of being

being in transition

always and 

forever.

And what you came to say

I’ll stop it all

halfway

between hearing

and listening

is something,

cool songs that could open a movie but actually never did

In movies, the opening song is a promise. It sets the mood, the pace, it elevates our expectations to crazy heights. The first tune can be slow indie, fast folk, catchy pop or experimental electro – the important thing is it translates the movie vibe even before the images strike. So here is the playlist of all these amazing tracks that could open a movie but actually never did.

Just imagine the endless script versions as you're listening.

broncho - class historian

james brown - the boss

boris vian - honeysuckle rose

the virgins - hey hey girl

jackson scott - together forever

neil young - walk on

darondo - luscious lady

belle & sebastian - piazza, new york catcher

marlena shaw - california soul

directorsound - pork & honey

i look close and see nothing and that is frustrating

The closer I look at something, the more blurry it becomes. It is not just about the sense of sight; it is about our whole lives.

There are moments when I want to grasp so much and I end up understanding completely nothing. Sometimes I focus and I feel the idea or concept surpasses my intelligence. I want to be smart, who doesn’t? And then, I end up trying to take in all the information found, yet it doesn not soak into the grounds of my mind. There is a barricade inside my head that emerges at every moment of conscious concentration and openness. It is a house I am closed in and the doors are shut and windows closed and I cannot understand there are spaces unlimited.

This also applies to emotion. A blockade of feelings just right when I was about to absorb all from the outside – the colours and forms, the smell of wood and the softness of fabrics, the beauty and complete mediocrity.

And then I feel the grief growing on me. I start to think about the people, if they experience their own minds closing from them, separating the inner universe of their own selves. Seeing things vividly without looking might help and I need to try. If it helps I shall be relieved.

After a while, I realize life is simpler than that. No, it’s actually not. It should be.That’s something I need to accept.

he just splashed the canvas and art was being created

Was it so? The Virgina-born large-scale painter Cy Twombly, whose name seems as abstract as his works, exploited technique of gestural drawing. Fascinated by finest classicism and mythology, he translated tradition to modern language that seems by no means more legible than the ancient stories of gods and symbolic creatures. In all its lyricism, the art of Twombly is contemporary to the core. That means it’s double vague and stimulating.

Look at it, the canvas swamped by strokes of paint in colours reminiscent of impressionists’ palette, ravaging idealistic forms with their fortuity. Think of it, the artworks that is supposed to express something, it has a title and a concept behind, I may not understand it. Feel it, depending on level of sensitivity and aesthetical preference, shiver in amazement, tremble with indignation.    

the playlist of wondering

Swamped by thoughts, reflections and introspection, we need something to accompany the process. I want to celebrate the deep loss in universes of minds with a playlist that makes wondering a fascination.

karen o - rapt

jack kilmer - tm

cass mccombs - night of the world

real estate - april's song

cat stevens - don't be shy

yo la tengo - green arrow

arthur russell - oh fernanda why

john maus - do your best