i'd love to make

I wish I had manual skills. They may be trained I guess but I don’t have patience. But if I possessed one, I would design. Collections some people may not want to buy and probably my low livelihood would force me to swap jobs, but just for a while I’d love to feel I create something.

What designers claim is that making things with hands is indispensable. That you start from scratch with total freedom and some ideas. You decide first, then people who may deem your finest work shitty. Then you lose your spirit and regain it with a hunch you have something to show. Well, it can be hard. And cool.

I used to scoff at the concept of ‘inspiration’. But the more I write, the more I understand it. Something can spot your attention and really engross you. And writing is a way of creating as well, but designing gives a tangible, vivid evidence  you can cherish, sell, save, exhibit. If it is successful, it can become a massive, life-changing project. An imprint on the fashion world people may forget, but they will refer to it later, as they do now with vintage clothing.

So I envy all these people sitting in their bright studios with tall windows and wooden floors, surrounded with pens, scissors and materials. I envy satisfaction from creativity and bringing some innovation. All I can do now is write about it. In a way it’s equal sense of complacency. But not an equal achievement.X